Things not to say at funerals are so many. Intentionally or unintentionally we say a lot of bizarre stuff that instead of consoling add agonizing pain to the members of the deceased’s family.
Kesy huwa sab (Things not to say at funerals)
Kesy huwa sab(how did this happen) is the most frequently asked question at funerals. People are interested in minor details like what was the number of an ambulance was he driving fast or not. This adds discomfort as every arriver asks this question putting the family in more grief
Khayal nahi Rakha Hoga(must have not taken good care of) is said when you are finished 35th time telling the whole story of how this happened. Zero sensitivity is shown like people were you in the same house or you have some superpowers that you are well informed about every stuff. If you don’t know how to console please don’t say anything at all.
Is main bethtri hogi
Is main behtri hogi(there must be some god in it) is said when you tell them how the death happened. People need to understand some things are better unsaid. This statement makes the deceased’s family think that you are heartless and insensitive about death.
Bulaawa (Things not to say at funerals)
Allah jisy pasand Karta hay uska bulaawa jaldi aajata hay(whoever god loves dies first). This is not a good thing to say who are we to say that he/she is good or bad in front of god’s eyes. According to this statement, older people are not loved by the creator which is very insensitive to assume even.
Bchay rul Jaen gay
Bchay rul Jaen gay (kids will be left alone) is said when someone’s parents pass. Like who shared this information with you that kids will be homeless after this. And even if kids will be homeless you are adding more grief for kids by saying such inhumane things.
Tadfeen kab hay (Things not to say at funerals)
Tadfeen kab hay (when is the burying) is asked to the deceased family when they are not even done wiping their tears. Someone’s loved one left this world and here you are worrying about how to save your minutes to waste them again.
Roti (Things not to say at funerals)
Roti kab milay gi(when are we getting meal) is asked to deceased’s family. This is so inhumane that you are worried about leg pieces while someone had a mental breakdown. People complain about the taste of food to add more grief to the family. People need to learn that funerals and weddings are different and there is nothing funny or romantic in funerals.
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Stupid discussions (Things not at say at funerals)
Some stupid discussions are also happening at funerals. Rishtay wali aunty(matchmakers) start discussing their rishtaas/matches without any shame. People ask wasiyat kis kay Naam ki hay(who is the heir) shamelessly. A dead body is there in the house and you are concerned that who will grab the property this is so sick of us.
Instead of asking super random questions you can actively participate and help out in burial and other stuff. Try understanding that death is never funny or romantic. Death does not scare people but dying does. No words can console you when someone who has given you the best memories becomes memories.
Life is short so be kind and gentle with others you never know your kind words can remove suicidal thoughts from people. Treat people in a way that if they died the next day you will not regret the last words you said to them. Regret is always stronger than gratitude so instead of putting flowers on graves make them feel special with every passing day. Hug your parents and text your long-lost friends and say that you love them before it’s too late. Let’s make this world a better place for people around us.